Waiting For Xander
by theamityartist
Summary: People can love in many different ways, but Cassia's love for Xander goes deeper than friendship, deeper than a little crush; Cassia's love for Xander goes as deep as a Match's love should. With no feelings for Ky, no interest in him at all, this is how Cassia loves.


I dreamed of Xander last night. Of smiles and kisses and touches. I dreamed of the life I want to have with him, the life I _will_ have with him.

Because now he is my Match.

I'm very thankful that it was not my turn to wear the sleep tags last night, for the dream was too personal to share, even if it was with the Society. I stay cocooned in the blankets and sheets for a moment longer, relishing the scent of cotton and the warm feeling in the pit of my stomach, the feeling I get when I am with Xander, when I see Xander, when I _think_ of Xander. I roll onto my side and pull the fluffy comforter to my chest with a smile, breathing in the fresh air coming in from my open window. Then, the moment has passed and has turned selfish, I cannot stay in bed for any longer.

Swiftly, I change from my sleepclothes into my brown plainclothes and head downstairs.

The second I step into the kitchen I can smell the vitamin-rich scent of food that always seems to inhabit our kitchen. As I sit down and unwrap my meal from its foil container, I can feel eyes on me. I look up, curious. My eyes meet with my mother's and she smiles at me, sitting down in the chair across from me. I feel a twang of guilt when I see that my father has already headed out for work and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to him this morning, thinking that if I had gotten out of bed when I should have I may have caught him on his way out. I cannot stay upset for long, though, as my mind almost immediately travels back to my dream, my love, my Match.

Just then Bram hurries in, his hair a mess, and does a double-take as he heads for the door without breakfast, as usual. He stops halfway in and halfway out of the door, one foot on either side of the entryway, smirking the way only Bram can.

"Why are you so happy today? Are you in _love_?" He sneers at me. I blush and try to cover my mouth with my hand as my mother gives Bram a look of warning. "What?" He says, defensive, "I'll bet she was dreaming about Xander."

My blush blushes and I look away from him, hoping he'll drop the embarrassing subject. I can hear my mother hustling him out the door to get him to the air train stop in time to get to First School, patting his hair down, rubbing some toothpaste from his chin, and when she walks back in I can't meet her eyes.

"Cassia," she says in a soft voice. I look up from the grayish oatmeal. She smiles at me and puts a hand on my cheek. Even though her action had no real meaning, it calms me down. She is in love with her Match and I can love mine.

I never thought Xander would be mine. Smart, cunning Xander who everyone loves? Never in a million years. I always thought he would be another girl's, from another City, maybe even another Province. I imagined his Match to be his equal, intelligent just like him.

But me, I am just a friend to him.

I never allowed myself to love him.

And now, maybe we can love each other.

We are allowed to.

We are supposed to.

We will.

I smile back at my mother as I push my chair back and bring the trash to the incinerator in the corner, always making that soft grinding noise. Before I grab my bag and head out to the air train stop as well, I check my teeth in the reflection of the port screen and say goodbye to my mother. I feel giddy as I walk down the steps from my porch and walk down the sidewalk to the stop, where Xander stands waiting for me. He smiles at me and I wave back at him, at the beautiful boy before me.

"Hi," I say, breathless even though I have done no running.

"Hey," he says, reaching for my hand.

Our fingers intertwine and I catch my breath. I stare at our clasped hands.

Seconds pass.

And I look back up into Xander's infinite blue eyes, filled with knowledge and love and hope, and I smile; I have spent the first sixteen years of my life waiting for Xander and now he is waiting for me.


End file.
